*MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD* Okay, let the title speak for itself; this is a reaction, not a review. Many statements made in this little expression of thought may or may not be cohesive.
Okay, so obviously, the number one thing on my mind is "OMG OSWIN OSWALD," but I'll try to focus this review primarily around other things besides her up until the big Oswin-related reveal hit. That being said, and if you didn't draw the conclusion, I'll 'react' to the episode in chronological order.
So we kick the episode off with this voice-over from freaking Hayley Williams (okay...a Hayley Williams lookalike) recapping the relationship/history between the Doctor and the Daleks. Yadda, yadda. Then we see little miss Amy Pond flaunting what she got at a model shot, when her publicist (or something) warns her that her husband is there, to which Amy replies that she has no husband. This topic was dwelled upon in the Pond Life series, which you can watch here, especially in its last episode, where we see Rory storm out of his house, Amy running after him in tears. I was heartbroken in the Pond Life episode, but the way it was handled in this episode was very much like it was something covered in series 6, if that makes sense. It was evident, though, (at least to me) that they would rekindle, especially because they had four more episodes together. I don't necessarily mean that having four more episodes with the Ponds ensures their marriage remaining stable, but just taking into account what we know from the other episodes from Comic-Con and other clips...
Anyway, Rory and Amy are then summoned to the Dalek Parliament, where they run into the Doctor ("How much trouble are we in?" "Out of ten? Eleven."). The Doctor smartly assumes the Daleks wish to exterminate him, but they ultimately ask for the Doctor to save them. They then explain the existence of "The Asylum," a planet designed to contain all Daleks gone awry. It is now when we formally meet Oswin Oswald (who we formally see baking souffles, and blaring music to drown out the noise made by Daleks, as she is being held captive by them--in a sense--because she's remaining inside the ship in which she crashed), who introduces herself to the Doctor (she was apart of a mission on the ship Alaska), and then becomes their sort-of-guide as they are transported to the Asylum ("Geronimo"). After two minutes of meeting Oswin, I instantly fell in love with her. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention she's played by Jenna-Louise Coleman...Anywaaaay, I was initially worried about the new companion and how she would fill in the void that Rory and Amy are sure to live, but now, I have complete faith in the character. Okay, translating that to my actual thoughts: OH MY GOD SHE'S SO FUNNY AND SEXY AND SHE GETS THE DOCTOR AND SHE'S SMART AND SHE'S AHSFGKSFDHAS SHE'S PERF.
Once at the Asylum, the trio are separated. Amy runs into a man (Harvey) from seemingly the same mission as Oswin. We also see Rory, who has fallen (silly boy) down a hole and into a storage shed of sorts for Daleks, who seem to be dormant.
Meanwhile, the Doctor and Amy stumble upon Alaska with Harvey, and see that they've all been dead for a while, and that Harvey is also dead. The entire crew are part-human, part-Dalek, and, using small wrist-devices given to them by the Parliament, the Doctor and Amy escape, but Amy's device was stolen, and that begins to take its toll on her as Oswin explains the connection between humans and Daleks (subtracting love, and adding anger), and Amy slips into a Katniss-bitten-by-tracker-jackers mode. The Doctor runs into a Dalek, disables its gun, and just as the Dalek is about to self-destruct, he sets it in reverse, where it flies back into the storage shed (from which Rory has escaped after seeing that the Daleks were alive) and explodes, taking the other Daleks down with it. I quite liked seeing Rory handle his situation so boldly without having the Doctor and Amy with him, although he did have guidance from Oswin. Rory's maturity was both interesting and a bit annoying in this episode. He did have quirky bits of humor, but he put his foot in his mouth a few times, in my opinion, and you'll see what I mean later on.
The Doctor carries an unconscious Amy in his arms and places her on a platform with Rory, as he calculates their escape. Oswin sends him to rescue her from her containment cell, and we are left alone with the Ponds. It is here that I cried the first time out of two during this episode. Rory donates his device to Amy to stabilize the amount of love she still has, and that subtracting his love will take longer. When Amy asks why, Rory tells her that it's 'basic arithmetic,' and that "the basic fact" of their relationship is that Rory loves Amy more than she loves him (which seemed apparent in series 5), but this sets Amy off. She tells him that their marriage fell apart because he always wanted kids and Amy couldn't have them. Cue my rapid tears shooting from my eyes, please. What she says next is best said in the words of Amy Pond herself: "Whatever they did to me at Demon’s Run, I can’t ever give you children. I didn’t kick you out. I gave you up…don’t ever talk to me about waiting outside a box because that is nothing. Nothing compared to giving you up."
From this point, the Doctor is nearing Oswin, but she says he's entering the ICU for Daleks. As the Daleks swarm around the Doctor and all hope seems lost, Oswin hacks into the Dalek-telepath-link and makes them forget the Doctor, and thus why they were attacking him. When the doors to Oswin's little room open, both characters are a bit puzzled, and the episode takes a turn for the OMG-osity. The Doctor, who has been communicating with Oswin via intercom, warns her that what she is seeing through her eyes may not be real. Oswin assures him it is real, and that she really has been baking souffles, and that he just needs to open another set of doors and he'll be to her room. But what the Doctor is seeing completely different. Rather than seeing the girl in the sexy red dress that we know Oswin Oswald to be, the Doctor sees a single Dalek in a bright white room, its "head" covered in rusty chains. He tells Oswin that she's been forming the past year of her life out of her mind and what she wanted to believe: that she was still human after the failed Alaska mission. In reality, Oswin is a human converted into a Dalek. Oswin then slips into a state of denial (and tears--oh, so many tears) and orders the immediate extermination of the Doctor, although that obviously never comes to fruition. She then flashes back to what really happened during the shipwreck of Alaska and how she was taken by Daleks and converted. We see flickers of Oswin trying to convince herself she is still human, and a shot of her screaming that she is a Dalek. She then delivers the memorable line, "I am Oswin Oswald. I fought the Daleks, and I am human. Remember me." She then tells the Doctor to run, and you know how much the Doctor loves running, and he returns with Amy and Pond to the Parliament, seeing that Oswin erased the memories of all the Daleks ("Doctor Who?") and returns Amy and Rory to their house (where they both walk back into...Rory has a little victory jig) before doing a little dance in the TARDIS.
So I suppose this turned out to be more of a recap of the episode with a bit of my thoughts mixed in there. My emotions were fresh right after watching this episode, and I finished this review about 1.5 hours after finishing the episode. I'm so intrigued to see where the Oswin/Clara (the semi-confirmed name for the new companion, as heard from shoots for the second half of the season) goes, although I'm sure we won't see her in any of the upcoming episodes. All my unnecessary little reasons for disliking Coleman (mainly because she was replacing Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill) have now dissipated, and the world is filled with happiness once more. I was glad to see the Amy/Rory stuff, and the Doctor was very likable in this episode (long story...). Overall, I'm rather exhausted, but YOU have obviously seen the episode if you're reading this, RIIIIGHT? Good.
The next episode of the season, "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship," airs next Saturday, September 8, at 9pm EST on BBC America, and 7:35 BST on BBC One.
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